i stole some prompts from
here and played with them.
i created two characters because i wasn't in the mood for fanfic (although that would be fun at some point), and anyway, it was awesome. so if you were wondering how i call myself a writer but never write, i mean, i guess here's this.
title: doesn't have one.
author: me, oh yes.
characters: wanna help me name them and make this into something coherent? that'd be cool.
rating: r for being so damn odd.
comment and critique and i will love you forevers. <3
#01 - Walking
It's funny, some people might remark, if they noticed, how each of them studiously and subconsciously matches pace to the other when they walk together so they're always galloping, half loping and stumbling trying to stay together.
#02 - Waltz
After the first night, just like they said it wouldn't, everything begins to fray at the edges and there is an intricate waltz of avoidance, and the buzz and shake of carefully, calculatedly botched eye contact.
#03 - Wishes
She just wishes she were better, faster, newer, wishes she could make him happy but he just wishes she'd relax and fall into his arms and let him tell her it's okay.
#04 - Wonder
When it's late and he doesn't hear from her and she doesn't show up the next day, he's the only one who doesn't ask where she's gone and what she's done- he's the only one who trusts her enough to let her go.
#05 - Worry
Everyone worries so much when they see the red on her wrists, on her neck, and nobody ever thinks to believe her when she looks into their eyes and says, "No, really. I'm fine."
#06 - Whimsy
It's cold and wet and muddy and she's barefoot, running and dancing and screaming through the puddles, and he's standing in the doorway holding a mug of green tea waiting for the fever to die out.
#07 - Waste/Wasteland
There comes a point, when he's shaking and cold and his eyes are wet with what he'd never call tears because it's really too late by now, when she's twining around him, begging and pleading and kissing his face, that it really doesn't seem worth it anymore.
#08 - Whiskey and rum
She shouldn't be drinking because she always gets sick, but right now, his eyes are glinting off her teeth when she smiles and his hands are sliding up into her skirt and when she asks for another shot, licking her lips in his direction, he's sure as fuck not going to stop her.
#09 - War
He hates himself for the things he says to her, he hates himself for being so patient and being so kind, and sometimes he hates himself for still sticking around after all he's seen of her but he hates himself so much more when they have moments like this, because who would weld her heart back together if he didn't?
#10 - Weddings
Everybody says they see them getting married, sparkling and white and pure, but they know if they ever tie that particular noose it will be draped in bloody red with grins on their faces.
#11 - Birthday
At one point he found it strange that she only celebrated birthdays as dates that brought her one year closer to her death- now they eat cake all the time and celebrate every day the same way, because what fun is living without cake?
#12 - Blessing
Her family thinks he's a blessing, and his family never sees her at her worst, but she knows that he is more than a blessing: he is a saint and a martyr and what keeps her alive.
#13 - Bias
People are always telling him that he works too hard, that he tries to do too much, that nothing is worth all the effort he puts in, but frankly, he prefers to believe that the sting of failure is well worth the potential for success.
#14 - Burning
When they get sick, they lock themselves in, on fire and frozen, eyes frosted and lips parched and they make love, delirius and infected and laughing.
#15 - Breathing
After they fuck the only thing she can concentrate on is his breathing, coarse and rhythmic and just out-of-time enough with the rain to unnerve her, and to keep her from breaking down.
#16 - Breaking
There is that tense moment, ever time they kiss, where they know they should draw back or breathe or look at each other or deal with the world outside them but there is something there between their lips that they hold softly and every time they break apart, it does the same.
#17 - Belief
The only thing he believes is that somehow, no matter what, everything will be okay by the end and yet the only thing she believes is that it is impossible to believe anything.
#18 - Balloon
Colorful and round and tight with air like a balloon: it's the way her chest feels when he looks at her like that, eyes narrowed just enough, eyebrows doing just that, and he smiles.
#19 - Balcony
They rent the hotel room that night, running away from whatever because he'd had this feeling and she's more than happy to go along with that, and when they're sitting on the outside of the balcony railing, hands held, fingers laced, legs dangling sixteen stories high while he sings to her, something he's never heard before, they can see everything.
#20 - Bane
They do their best to play sociopathic, and they steal little worthless things from chain stores and lie about their names and vandalize government mailboxes: anything to hurt the world, little by little, an art form.
#21 - Quiet
There's this particular sort of quiet that he can't live without, where she's sitting in his lap and his arms link around her stomach and their eyes are closed, just lightly, and it's a little bit dark and neither of them is really breathing all that much.
#22 - Quirks
The way he flips his hair when he's agitated and when she cracks her knuckles, loud but not quite obnoxious, and best of all when they zag and zig together walking, careening into each other's personal space because they like to be close all the time.
#23 - Question
Nothing hurts worse than that deadly question, except asking it and the wait that comes in between, where the only thing she wants more than him to say yes, or okay, or just look into her eyes is for him to hold her tight and so close and murmur it into her hair.
#24 - Quarrel
A pair of passive-aggressives can be devastating, pointedly glaring away and sobbing just within earshot and mumbling guilt inducing nonsense just outside it: apologies are always so quick to come and so quick to go, but so slow to sink in.
#25 - Quitting
When it finally hits him that nothing has changed, that she has lied and is lying, and he catches her crying in the bathroom with too many razors in the trash and a bit of a stain in the sink, he finally gives in, slams the door on her whining, gets in the car and drives off.
#26 - Jump
A sick echo of better nights in the sky with the stars and she looks down into the street devoid of cars and her weight falters a little, just a little, and it's so fucking tempting, and the streetlights blur with her toes just over the edge.
#27 - Jester
Cracking a smile is such a painful idiom, if she thinks about it, although he realizes she's much more willing to do that than actually smile these days, and while he knows he has nothing to do with it, he can't quite help himself from trying, just a little, to make her happy.
#28 - Jousting
It could be likened, maybe, to old movie villains with their opposing trains on the same track, waiting to see who'll scare first, except nobody scares first and when they collide, splintering and drowning in flame, what you're actually left with is two kids holding hands and pressing together their lips in the rain.
#29 - Jewel
There is no gem that can be likened to the perfect gleam in his eyes when he tells one of his horrific stories, even though she catalogues her attempts like bags and bags of bangles broken out of jewelry stores.
#30 - Just
There's just something, just something about standing with every inch pressed against one another, inhaling silently from each other's breath, just being so close, just being so still, just... being.
#31 - Smirk
She's promised she won't be scared at all, ever, but he still catches that flicker when his demeanor changes so completely and he's caught her around the wrists, holding her down, keeping her still, with that foreign smirk on his face as she gasps for air and winks at him.
#32 - Sorrow
Melancholy does not begin to describe the blackness that settles over them when they are sad: there is a violence, a hysteria to their sorrow that makes it alien to everyone else, and the fact that they revel in it like they do does little to alleviate the isolation.
#33 - Stupidity
She's staring at him, staringstaringstaring and unleashing all the ploys that body language allows her, and wearing the best and least she can manage, and muttering all the right cynicisms and the fact that she's actually fucking in love with him goes straight over either of their heads.
#34 - Serenade
He is so quiet, when he's not hiding, that it is impossible to know what he's thinking unless he wants to tell it- when he talks, it is beautiful, and when he talks himself to sleep, she stays awake unmoving but for chills and listens, listens like it's the last thing she'll ever hear.
#35 - Sarcasm
Entire conversations are had by them entirely through irony, not a single word sincere, and yet the whole meaning never fails to get across: why not entire years, entire relationships, entire lives of secrecy and sharp tongues?
#36 - Sordid
The cleanest and most mainstream, wholesome, goodhearted things are the ones he mocks the most, and she laughs with him as they screw outside churches on saturday nights and sign petitions against themselves.
#37 - Soliloquy
He's stopped trying to stop her, just trusts her instead, watching her etch self-referential soliloquys into her arms until she feels good again and when she falls asleep, he cleans it with peroxide and rubs in neosporin so she doesn't get worse.
#38 - Sojourn
He never meant for it to last this long, honestly, he never thought he'd fit quite so well in arms and in her heart as to merit not leaving her immediately after he realized exactly what he was in for.
#39 - Share
Communication had never necessarily been one of his strongest pursuits, he would have preferred to remain to himself but she ripped him out of his stronghold and made him talk and he's pretty sure he's thankful for everything, but at the same time, he would kill her before letting her tell anyone else.
#40 - Solitary
There is something strange and different about the codependence of two solitary people- it's a strange sort of balance of never quite needing the other as badly as they need you, but always wanting more than either is really willing to give.
#41 - Nowhere
There's a gap between both Thens and this Now and they like to spend their time there, lazy afternoons lying across one another and watching the whole fucking world skitter and spin off its hinges in front of them.
#42 - Neutral
It's not that he doesn't believe in good anymore, it's not like he's that dark or anything, because he doesn't exactly believe in evil anymore either: there's nothing even close to black or white because it's all such minute shadings of grey that it isn't really even worth dividing up.
#43 - Nuance
Even though every time she's ever asked him what was wrong he told her nothing, she could tell, every time, that there was something wrong and moreover, every time, she could determine what it was that had his mouth worried like it was.
#44 - Near
With her chin on his shoulder, nose tucked in behind his ear, their heartbeats are pressed together so close they will slow and skip until they beat in synch and even though there would be that split second they think they're going to die from arrhythmia, it is remarkable.
#45 - Natural
What's natural is how rarely they fit exactly together, because it really is rare and when it happens it is strange and ridiculous and they don't mention it later on, but when she slips and her hands slide inaccurately into his he can't help but think it's better off like that.
#46 - Horizon
He's one of those people who would never admit it but knows, just knows when things are going to happen as though he sees them emerge, miles and miles away through the fog so whenever things fall to pieces, he can grin and say he told you so.
#47 - Valiant
Nobody would think to call her anything other than weak or sad or tragic but he has seen her in the wars she wages against herself and she watches him fight for her and when she collapses against him and the sobbing subsides she can feel his relief sinking into her, and feels guilty.
#48 - Virtuous
What people don't see is how relative things are because what one man sees as two people breaking moral laws and codes and destroying everything mankind tries to make can be seen by anybody who opens their goddamn eyes as liberation, freedom for everyone who dares to take it for themselves.
#49 - Victory
When he personally has seen to it that the world loves its own destruction the way she loves hers, he will sit down crosslegged in the dirt and sing to her about how perfect everything is as the last building goes up into flames and smoke and the last screaming dies out.
#50 - Defeat
When she has seen to it he accomplishes the goals he's made for himself, once she has no more excuse to be sad and no more excuse to be herself, she will touch him for the last time and vanish into the wreckage and he will be gone.
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lyvlelacey's journal
bzuh
grieving.
i win!
blank
wired/dead
he's some vectors strung together through a nifty little program known as adobe illustrator. he also took me Too Fucking Long to finish, but oh wellz. consider if you don't know what the previous ramble means that he is drawn like this: *click* *click* *clickdrag* *clickdrag* damn it *edit undo* *clickdrag* *click* *click* etc. over the course of approximately nine months. off and on, of course, and mostly off. but still! 
w0.